Facebook

Today I am going to rant about Facebook.

Haven't got a clue how many people actually have a FB account but I guess I could just 'google' it and find out if I really wanted to.  I don't want to because I don't actually care.

I've had a FB account for years.

At first I signed up under my dogs name....................... because I was a bit paranoid that 'mad stalkers' would be looking for me and would be able to track me down.  After about 3 years I decided that I was being a bit silly and changed my FB account into my own name.

I have an iphone.  I am a very 'high tec' middle aged lady.

I have FB on my phone and unfortunately I feel the need to look at FB every time I look at my phone.

It drives me mad - but I still do it.

I'm really not interested if any of my friends are 'waiting for the kettle to boil'.  Who cares?  Am I bothered?

Well obviously I must be bothered because I keep looking at FB.  It's almost like I'm scared that if I don't keep checking FB I might miss out on something.  ...................I admit I like to keep up with all the gossip.

But honestly FB drives me mad.

Why do we all have to post every single little detail of our life on a social networking site for the whole world to see? 

I have a theory about FB.  My theory is:

The people who post the most stuff have the least going on in their life.  If you are really fulfilled in life, are enjoying life and are doing things that occupy you and that you're interested in.................. then surely you don't have time to post stuff on FB?

However, as 'Jeremy Kyle' says, 'there's two sides to every story'.........................

I'm a middle aged lady who finds new technology confusing.  Kids that were born from about the mid 90's don't actually know what it was like to live without technology.

Recently my 13 year old niece was upset because two of her so called best friends had posted photos on FB showing what a great time they were having and she hadn't been invited.  My sister said to my niece, 'If theyd been having such a good time they would have been really engrossed in what they were doing and wouldn't have had the time to post photos on FB'.

Good answer - but unfortunately anyone over 40, certainly anyone over 50, and probably anyone over 30 is way behind the times??!!

FB is these kids lives.  That is what they do.  They don't talk to each other - they just communicate via social networking sites.  So posting a few photos on FB is what they were engrossed in.

All very difficult for us oldies to understand isn't it?????

...........And I've just 'copied' the blurb below from one of my friends FB posts.  Hilarious but so true?!

Well................. for those of us at a certain age?????

I am not a fan of facebook as it seems to be a platform for making me feel shit about my life. I am sure everyone lies about their wonderful lives on it. So, here is my interpretation of what is really being said on Facebook…..

Wow..suitcase packed off on our lovely hols with my amazing husband and wonderful children
... ( I am shattered from being up all night packing for these lazy bastards….I want to drink wine already and its only 4am and we are not even at the airport yet)

Just cooked a lovely tea ( insert picture), can’t wait to snuggle down with my man and eat it!
(hope he chokes on it…and I didn’t cook it at all, I warmed it up then put it on a plate so you will all think I am a domestic goddess)

Had the most amazing night with my lovely friends…
( spent most of the night providing shoulder to cry on for recently dumped friend, trying to stop desperate friend shagging inappropriate man, holding hair for ‘shots all night’ friend while she vomits up £40 worth of booze…..never again.)

Just had a lovely bath complete with candles!!
( had to wash as covered in horse shit and electricity ran out so was forced to use a candle.)

Enjoyed a lovely long walk with the dogs today!
( because the f*ckers ran off and it took me 5 miles to catch them.)

Had a lovely day with all the family today!
( what was lovely about it was when they went home)

Am off to see a lovely friend of mine I have not seen since school!
( hope she is fatter and looks older than me)

Spent a lovely afternoon making cakes with the kids!
( will now have to spend the rest of the week cleaning cake batter off the ceiling the fecking animals)

Can’t wait to hit the shops with my daughters today! Girlie shopping!
( goodbye salary hello strops and arguments – just kill me now)

Going to have a lovely relaxing early night!
( have to get to bed and asleep pronto, hubby feeling fruity, am not in mood so instigating avoidance tactics)

 

Will I delete my FB account?  Of course I won't - I'm far too scared I'll miss out on some important gossip.

 

Actually I don't know how to close down my FB account even if I wanted to.  And come to think of it there's a couple of people I'd like to 'defriend' (see I know all the jargon).  How do I do that...........................