Needy?!

Firstly let me just say that I have had a lovely Christmas with my two nephews and niece. 

Nephew no 1 is 21 years old, nephew no 2 is 20 years old and niece is 17 years old.  So none of them are exactly babies???

And my rant today is going to be........................ why do none of them act like 'normal teenagers'???  Or even normal young people ('cos the boys aren't actually teenagers any more).

I have a lot of friends who have children of a similar age and every time I meet up with them I have to listen to the latest stories of what their children have done.  Now, I don't like to boast but I would probably call myself a 'middle class' ranting middle aged spinster??  I'm certainly not up there in the top 20% of earners but I am most certainly not down there in the realms of people who go on the 'Jeremy Kyle' show.  Ditto my friends.  We are 'middle class' people who own our own home, have studied at further education and have held down so called 'professional' jobs.

And so all my friends who have children, are a similar age to my sister, and a  'similar' social standing to my sister,  OK probably not - my sister is probably financially a lot better off than everyone else I know, and all my friends kids are of a similar age to my nephews and niece.  .......................And there the similarities end???

My nephews and niece are sooooo, sooooo, soooooo needy on their parents.  OK on their mother, not their father.  And by that I don't mean that they haven't got the life skills to look after themselves.  ......................Actually I do mean that.  They can all cook fabulous meals from scratch, so at least they won't starve?  My sister is a brilliant cook and has taught them well.  Unfortunately she hasn't taught them how to put a wash on, clean a house or iron a few clothes???  Today my sister told my niece to put all her wet clothes in the dryer and she put them in the washing machine?!!  Surely a 17 year old should know the difference between a washing machine and a tumble dryer???Today we went out for a walk and nephew no. 2 said, 'mum, which coat should I wear?'  Seriously - does a 20 year old really have to ask his mummy which coat to wear?

I don't actually think that any of my nephews or niece have actually stripped their own bed at home and washed their bedding themselves.  I don't think any of them have actually looked in the wash basket and thought, 'this is full, I'd better put a wash on.'  I'm not even sure if any of them know where to get a clean towel from?  They certainly don't just take clean towels out of the airing cupboard every time they have a shower like most of the teenagers I know? 

My nephews and niece are not like any other kids that I know and I honestly can't decide whether this is a good or a bad thing???  They're like the 'Waltons'???  And for any of you who don't know who the Waltons are....................  It was a TV programme from years back.  Google it.  I'm not clever enough to put in links.

It's nice that they're all so family orientated, which I believe stems from the fact that my sister has been lucky enough to be  a 'stay at home' mum for more than 20 years.  On the other hand the kids have never, ever, had to 'fend for themselves', ie go to childminders or after school or breakfast clubs.  Their mummy has always been there for them to ferry them to swimming classes and brownies and scouts or wherever else they wanted to go so they've never actually learned how to be independent.  They've never had to come home by themselves or get tea for themselves or do a supermarket shop.

The thing that will always stick out in my mind is.................  when my niece was in the last year at primary school, my sister went down to the village bakery at lunchtime and bought her a hot sausage roll and took it into school for her.  Personally I didn't understand why she couldn't just have the same packed lunch that her brothers had apparently she didn't want a chicken wrap??  But when I told my best friend who had kids of a similar age and who worked full time, her exact words were, ' Oh how lovely.  I wish I could do that for my children.' 

...............Well she was working full time so she couldn't and ten years on..................  my bestie's kids may not have had their mummy bringing them hot sausage rolls at lunchtime and their mummy might not always have been around before and after school; but her three kids have got a much greater understanding of life, they are far more independent and they have all worked from an early age and understand the value of money.  They pay their own phone bills, they sort out their own uni overdrafts, they pay for their own driving lessons and cars......................  and they never, ever sit all evening in the living room with their parents watching TV?? 

My bestie's kids spend their whole life in their bedroom watching their own TVs or laptops, talking to their mates, going out with their mates, doing stuff with people their age.  They don't do their homework at the kitchen table and they don't consult their mummy on every little thing they do.

When I asked nephew no 1 want he wanted for Christmas; his response was, 'Ask mum'.

I guess there are two ways of looking at this:

1)  He's really needy and needs his mummy to approve everything.
2)  He's really organised and has given his Christmas list to his mum because he knows that she is even more organised and just will do everything for him.

Who knows???

However having just spent 3 days with my nephews and niece over Christmas..................  I cannot believe how much time they actually want to spend with their parents?

As a middle aged ranting spinster...............  I have had such a lovely Christmas with my sister and husband and my nephews and nieces.  But I just cannot understand why they want to spend time with their parents and an aging Auntie instead of going out with their own friends???

Why would any kids want to do that?

When I think back to my teenage years of the 1970's when we were actually just expected to sit in the living room with our parents and watch whatever they wanted to watch on TV.  All of us............ on a brown sofa with an orange carpet and God only knows what colour the wallpaper was?

The highlight of my TV viewing was watching 'Crossroads' around 5.30pm-ish and then my Dad would come home from work and switch it over to the BBC news before I'd seen the final bit.

It's not the 1970s.  Life moves on.

.................And yet life in my sisters home is like the 1970s.  #justcallthemthewaltons The family all sit down together for meals.  My sister cooks really scrumptious meals from scratch.  I love staying at my sisters. 

They are not 'normal teenagers'.  They appear for breakfast, lunch and dinner.  Duh!  How many teenagers do that?

However, having said that - times change and these days people lead very busy lives and 'snacking on the go', is the norm.

When I left my sisters yesterday, after having the most fabulous Christmas, with the most fabulous home cooked food for three days.................... she was trying to persuade my niece, who was just off to do a bit of charity bag packing at a well known supermarket, for 5 hours to take a packed lunch with her?  Sister tried to tell niece that as she was working for 5 hours she would need a lunch break. 
Niece tried to tell sister that it was a voluntary thing and lunch breaks probably wouldn't happen.
Sister said, 'You're a child and you need a break.'

................A child????  She's 17 years old.  She could get married, drive a car, have a job, have a baby, set up home,  and in another few more months vote for the leader of this country.  Scary stuff???'

Needless to say I haven't actually heard what the outcome of the 'charity bag packing' was.

....................But I still think that my nephews and niece are very needy???!!!