Does
anyone else feel like they're not living up to being a 'perfect
person' in these times of lock down?
I
am so glad that I'm not a mother because to be a mother in 'lock
down' must be the hardest thing in the world.
I
have two friends on FB who are mothers. Actually I have a lot of
friends on FB who are mothers, but the two who I admire the most are
the ones who just seem to be embracing this whole thing and are
spending their time creating wonderful memories for their children.
I actually saw a post on FB today of one of my friends reading with
her child. And in the background she had a white board in the
kitchen which contained the family meals for the week. Very
nutritionally balanced well thought out meals I have to add. She's
obviously talked to her two kids and discussed what they were going
to have to eat and no doubt the children get involved in the cooking
of these meals. And even though they're very young, they can check
the white board (with their mummy's help obv) and know what they're
having for tea each day.
Ditto
my sister who has her three kids (all in their 20s) back at home
living with her. Apparently my sister still plans the weeks meals
but my 23 year old nephew has drawn up a timetable for who cooks
them. Just how organised is that?
Don't
you just hate people who are that organised? I find it hard to
organise myself and there's only one of me. However I have to admit
to only doing one shop a week. And if I find that there's something
that I've forgotten to buy then I just go without. Unless it's alcohol. I can do that
because there's only one of me.
But
it's not just cooking........................
…...............It's
everything. I'm getting a bit fed up with seeing posts on
FB/Instagram/Twitter of people who have managed to cut their own hair
and are looking immaculate. Or people who are posting that they have
lost loads of weight because they have been doing on line fitness
classes, and people who have given up alcohol for the duration of
lock down and have never felt better, and people who are baking their
own bread and cakes and devising new recipes. And people who say,
'Isn't this great, we're making new memories every day.'
Hmmmmmm............We're
all making new memories every day. It's just mine aren't actually
ones that I want to remember. 2020 for me, so far, is the year, when
I spent more than 60 days just talking to myself. It's the year when
after just one week in lock down I started to experience the most
overwhelming feelings of isolation and despondency. It's the year
that I stopped even bothering to put on mascara to go to the shops.
It's the year that my hair grew very long and very grey and I didn't
actually care because I just tied it up and carried on because after
all, who cares what colour or length my hair is.
And
when I have a video call with friends, I'm the one who doesn't bother
getting dressed up or who doesn't bother putting make up on, because
actually just what is the point? You're in your own house. It all
just seems to be a bit of an effort. And for what? Just to chat with
friends, who should actually love you just the way you are, if they
are proper friends.
Being
in lock down alone is certainly not a position that I would ever
advocate to anyone. Overnight my 'so called choice' of living alone
was taken away from me and I was 'trapped' home alone.
I
wouldn't say that in these days of lock down that I feel particularly
inadequate because I'm actually quite a strong character who has
never gone with the flow. I've always just done my 'own thing' and
so in some ways life just carries on.
However
what I do feel is; unmotivated. I'm annoyed with myself that I
haven't actually got the motivation to do more in these times of lock
down. But there again I guess everyone is different and we all just
have to embrace these differences and get on with our lives. Lock
down or no lock down.
See
you all tomorrow.
Toodles
xxxx
No comments:
Post a Comment