OK
so it's the 1st May 2020 and we've been in 'lock down' now for five
and a half weeks. That's 39 days for anyone who doesn't know. Even
Noah was only on his ark for 40 days & nights! I like to have
little projects to work on so I thought that my challenge for May
2020 could be posting a 'blog a day' for the next 31
days............ 'LOCK DOWN through my eyes. …...........The eyes
of a 61 year old ranting single female who lives alone with a dog.
…........At least I'm not a mad cat woman. Not that I have
anything against cats you understand. I don't. I like cats. But
could never, ever, have one because they bring their owners presents,
ie dead mice and birds and other horrible things.
Anyway
more than 35 years ago I was a teacher, living in the capital city of
Scotland, and the Headteacher of the school that I was working in,
was a very innovative 'spinster' in her 40s (obviously she seemed
ancient to me because I was only 25) who had a fat spaniel who used to spend most of it's day in her car or in her office.
How times have moved on. Dogs aren't even allowed anywhere on
school premises these days and to leave a dog in a car for most of
the day would definitely be classed as animal cruelty.
There
is a reason for me telling you this.................... I distinctly
remember saying to friends; 'If I ever end up like Miss B just shoot
me.'
….............And
now I'm a middle aged spinster (albeit about 20 years older than she
was at the time) living alone with my dog. ….........And I
couldn't be happier. …..........And I don't want to be shot.
…...............I love my life.
BUT......................
there's always a BUT isn't there? After five and a half weeks of
being in compulsory isolation, at times, I've wondered whether I've
actually made the correct life choices. Maybe it would have been
better to have a partner that one wasn't actually 'in love' with but
who one might have been able to rub along with quite amicably. Then
I wouldn't have had to spend the last five and a half weeks just
talking to a 17 month old collie pup.
Hmmmmm....................
five and a half weeks versus a lifetime of doing what I want to
do................... yep I guess I've definitely made the right
decision. 99% of the time I'm really happy with my life. It's that
1% that keeps featuring in my life a lot over the last few weeks.
Irrational
thoughts keep popping into my head like; what if I get Covid-19? Who
is going to look after my dog? What if I get really ill really
quickly and aren't even able to phone for an ambulance myself? What
if I die all alone? Who is going to find me when no one is actually
visiting me? And what impact will this have on my 17 month old
collie pup if she's home alone in the flat with me and I'm dead and
she doesn't have any food? Might she start to eat me? Is that what
animals do if they're desperate? As I say..........................
totally irrational thoughts??!! I
post so much on social media that I'm sure someone would notice
within 24 hours if I hadn't posted a photo of myself drinking a glass
of wine and I'm pretty sure my gorgeous little collie pup wouldn't
think of eating me within 24 hours?!
So
to get back to why I'm actually posting this post; it's my
May Challenge 2020. Every day for the whole of May I'm going to
post something about my thoughts and feelings about being in lock
down as a single person. I might just write a paragraph. I might
write screeds and screeds. I don't know yet. I'm just going to see
where the mood takes me.
…................And
as most of you know..................... I do like RANTING so a lot
of these posts might be a bit ranty. Lol!
See
you tomorrow.
Toodles
xxx
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